Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Glitter & Grime
We slogged along, we did. The mob of us, through the mud and the slush and the ice and the snow. Not snow like I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas. Snow like you find in the gutter six days later. Mud that sticks to your shoes and then your pants and then your shirt. And slush and grime. The kind of grime that starts on the outside, but ends up on the inside. In your eyes and mouth. Then in your throat. And finally, you’re pretty sure, the grime is coating the inside of your soul.
I kept my eyes down, because I didn’t need to look up. I knew the path. I’d been around this way hundreds of times. I watched the muddy boots in front of me as they sloshed loudly into that same hidden rut, followed by the same listless profanity. And then I stumbled on the same rock as a dozen times before. Curses!
When I did look up, I saw the same dingy, hunched over forms doing the same shapeless shuffle as yesterday and yester-week and yester-month. Every turn in the path promised something new, and every turn in the path delivered more dull sameness.
The occasional mirage of apparent festivity would come and go, but nothing changed. We trudged through the lights and the food and the façade of fun, feeling only more downcast by what we couldn’t experience. Any attempt to linger was quickly overruled by the endless marching horde behind.
And now, we see less sun every day. More night. More cold. Yet the pace quickens. Why? We see lights. We hear music. We sense excitement. It’s by far the grandest celebration we have seen. We rush towards it, falling and running over each other in a chaotic attempt to get there, to finally rest instead of strive. And then we’re there. And then it’s gone. Alas, it’s gone.
We’re off our pace now. Unfamiliar forms in front, unfamiliar ruts. We seem suddenly to have no place to go. But in the bewildered shuffling, I find the crowd spreading out. The path is wider. Still mud and slush and grime. But in between the figures before me, I see bits of fresh snow, untouched by muddy boots. I look to the left, and I look to the right, and I see, we’re all side by side. Everybody’s at the front of the line. We’re approaching the mountaintop together. It becomes a march, stepping as one through the muck and the mire.
We’re counting steps now, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4. And then: 10, 9, 8… in unison, 7, 6, 5, we can feel it, 4…3…2…1 – and we’re struck silent, standing breathless in awe at the sight before us.
It’s magnificent, as far as the eye can see, miles of pure, glistening white snow. Not a footprint to be seen. Not a splatter of mud. Just sparkling clean snow, waiting for the first footprint. Trees glitter and glorious sunlight shimmers off a crystal clear lake. Unbroken snow beckons: Make your own path.
So the light ahead becomes the light within. It cleanses from my soul all the grime of the past. It’s a new day. It’s a new year. If I choose, it’s a new life.
Monday, December 29, 2008
If moments were ornaments...
...these would shine the brightest:
- Christmas Eve opening number at New Pointe. Trans Siberian Orchestra, eat your heart out. And the closing number. Little drummer boy, here’s to you.
- Talking with (unnamed friend) of my (unidentified offspring) and thinking, "This is a very cool (guy/girl), I hope (he/she) spends more time with my (unspecified offspring.) It’s complicated.
- Realizing that for five people whose main goal is enjoying their time together, Panic Room can be a great Christmas movie. I suppose for too many parents, it’s just a Christmas Eve reality.
- Christmas morning breakfast. Family. Crepes and eggs. Coffee. Smile.
- Settling down on the floor by the tree. Anticipation.
- Bestest Daughter opening her complete Friends DVD set. Her eyes and mouth were wide open, but no sound came out.
- The bewildered look on Bestest Son’s face for the time it took him to figure out it was not a cheap camera case, but a case holding the lock-picking set he had asked for.
- Realizing that Bestest Daughter had indeed found her way to Recognized Local Store and purchased the Specified Brand of a particular distillate for a father who would not indulge himself thus.
- Giving a DVD player, and receiving one, which oddly enough is still not excessive in our house.
- Understanding the thought and care that Bestest Son puts into his gift selection. He really wants you to like your gift.
- The satisfaction on Luvly’s face when she realized Daughter had been listening when she described a pair of boots. And watching the joy on Bestest Daughter’s face.
- My Mom being moved to tears by the sheer joy of spending an entire day with family.
- Gathering extended family around the table in a temporarily transformed coffee shop dining room. Where family gathers, there’s a sense of home.
- Living out the reason for the season. Peace in our home, goodwill to my family. It starts here.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Confession
The most beautiful musical instrument on earth is the divinely created female voice. The best way to sing this song is the way it's written; silent, and holy. And that's what I hear when Christina Aguilera sings this song, first in English, then in Spanish.
May we all know the dawn of redeeming grace.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Revelation
For my family, Christmas is when we gather around and open our presents. It is a rare and special thing for our family to spend any time together not being entertained. So we gather, we give, we receive, we thank, we enjoy.
For my heart to know Christmas, it is the journey to the manger, and it is very personal. Usually that comes in the normal course of our Christmas events, a church play, a drama or musical performance. Maybe even a sermon. I suppose that is why any Christmas drama I was involved with at church was incomplete without a manger scene. You could take a thousand different paths to get there, but a Christmas drama of any sort always had to end at the manger.
When an ice storm cancelled our Christmas Eve service several years ago, we attended a wonderful service elsewhere, but it didn’t take me to the manger. And we didn’t go to a Christmas play at the regional theater, we went to a Holiday Show. It felt empty. It had no soul.
And then I read the B.C. Christmas Day comic strip. I read the message in the stars, and I joined the characters at the entrance to the stable. And in that moment I understood: This is the heart of Christmas to me. I enter the stable, and stand with the shepherds and the wise men in adoration of Mary, Joseph, and the new-born King, Emmanuel, the baby Jesus.
God rest ye merry, gentle folk. Oh come, let us adore Him.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Ho, Ho, Haiku
Ho ho haiku! I’m a finalist in the 17 syllable contest I mentioned last week. I entered the one that got a comment, (thank you Jason,) and made the top five out of a hundred or so.
Finalists and funky category winners are here. It’s a fun read, here are a few of my favorites:
The winner:
(anlyledo)
Winter morning yawns
A downy peace covers all
I burrow deeper
One of the finalists:
(Me)
Pent up words rusting
In my soul where I can't reach
With my fountain pen.
And a few category winners:
(Richard Mabry)
"Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh.
O'er the fields we go...."
(Cosimod)
Of cookies and milk
Santa dines night and day. He
can't fit in his sleigh.
(Me)
Santa said if I
Was good, he’d give back Christmas
To that Jesus guy.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
WE
So says my friend Jason in this post. We have cancer. Not my son, but we. How powerful is that?
This is not just an individual battle, this is a family fighting together. And from what I can see, it’s not just the immediate family of Mom, Dad and three sisters. It’s extended family too, aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas, all involved in bringing this brave soldier back to health.
Granted, this is not entirely a matter of choice for immediate family. I can only imagine how this turned family life upside down in so many ways. There must be times for the girls when it seems everything revolves around little brother. But if you’re in it as a family, if you really look at it as something we face, then you do everything you can for the family member who needs it.
We could use a lot more of that attitude. In our families. In our neighborhoods and our churches. In our nation and in our world. And I’m guessing it starts with me, getting my eyes off me, and onto we.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
17 Syllable Japanese Sneeze
/\
/\
/\
Haiku contest there
One entry per person please
Here's what else I wrote.
On Christmas:
Found the perfect gift
When the babe in the manger
Found room in my heart.
Christmas lights and trees
Gifts and carols and candy
Point the way to - peace?
Silent, holy night
Is what I got for Christmas
At the manger bed.
On writing:
Talent trapped inside
Rusts the soul, so why can't I
Open up the tap?
Pent up words rusting
In my soul where I can't reach
With my fountain pen.
Go check it out, add your own. Yes, you.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
A Christmas Tale in Four Acts
A fictional conversation with John Bunn, based on his recent postulation that not just the Christmas story, but the story arc of Scripture, can be captured in four words.
sez Mark: So John, what’s Act I of your play?
John Bunn: OF.
sM: Of what?
JB: OF. Adam and Eve were created in the image OF God.
sM: Beats the proverbial silver spoon, doesn’t it? And what is Act II?
JB: That’s right, how did you guess?
SM: Huh?
JB: Act II is AND. Adam and Eve went down their own path. So now there’s separation, Man AND God.
sM: So what do you start Act III with?
JB: WITH.
sM: Yes, with?
JB: Yes, WITH. Act III is WITH. That’s the Christmas part. His name is Emmanuel, God WITH us.
sM: Then it ends in Act IV?
JB: You’re right, IN.
sM: I am?
JB: Act IV is IN. If you ask, the Spirit will live IN you.
sM: Is that like the ghost of Christmas past? Or like the Force?
JB: Were you listening on Sunday?
sM: It was early service, give me a break.
Of, and, with, in. I love a short story. Especially with a good ending.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Suede Booties
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Who's on Bass?
The scene is a coffee shop throbbing with music. Two brothers and two friends jamming for two hours. It's standing room only at Java Jo, one of those rare performances you wish could last forever. But who are the players?
"So which ones are the two brothers?" Ed leans close to be heard over the music.
"Joas and Joel," I nod toward the band in the corner.
"Joel is the drummer?"
"No the other Joel. Yes, the drummer’s name is Joel, but the other Joel is the brother. He’s the one with the hat."
"Oh the one on the harmonica?"
"No, the other one with a hat. The one playing guitar."
"But not the one sitting down?"
"No, the one sitting down with the guitar is Joas. Oh wait, now Joel is sitting down, too."
"So Joas is the one wearing a vest?"
"Yes, no, the guy on the harmonica’s wearing a vest."
"What’s his name?"
"I don’t know. Just some guy that came with Joas. But Joas is wearing a vest too."
"So the brothers are the two guys with vests?"
"No the brothers are Joas and Joel. Joas is the one with a vest playing guitar."
"The vest plays guitar?"
"No, Joas plays guitar, wearing a vest."
"The guitar wears a vest?"
"See the guy sitting in a chair, playing a guitar?"
"The one with a vest?"
"The guy with a vest. That guy is playing a guitar. His name is Joas."
"The guy, or the guitar, or the vest?"
"The guy’s name is Joas."
"And his brother’s name is Joel?"
"His brother is the one wearing a hat and playing guitar."
"But not sitting down."
"Not right now."
"And the other Joel is the one with a beard?"
"The Joel with a beard is the guy on the drums. The other guy with a beard is Joas"
"The guy with a vest sitting and playing guitar?"
"Yes. The other guy with a vest is a friend."
"The one on harmonica?" The guy with a hat?"
"The other guy with a hat. Not Joel on the guitar, but the one with a hat playing harmonica. He’s the friend."
"And it’s not the hat playing the harmonica?"
"Might be."
The Cast:
Joas has a beard, wears a vest, sits and plays guitar amazingly. And sings. His brother…
...Joel has only stubble, wears a hat, stands (sometimes) and plays guitar similarly. And sings, maybe better.
Joel the drummer (actually the entire rhythm section since there's no bass), has a beard. No vest, no hat.
Friend (Chris?) wears a hat, and a vest, and plays harmonica marvelously.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
A Tale of Two Cigarettes
"Got a smoke, man?" A gravelly voice came out of the shadows. On this block, it neither startled nor scared me.
"Sorry, I don't smoke. Get you a cup of coffee?" Now that startled me, coming out of my mouth. I had three minutes to get back on the road or I'd be late. I hate being late.
"Sure whatever. Can I come along in to get it? Kinda chilly here." I looked at his frayed flannel shirt and tattered baseball cap. Compared to my leather coat and ski cap, it seemed frigid.
"Come on, we'll sit inside for a while." What am I saying? I don't have time to hang out with friends, much less strangers. And this man moved like he could handle himself in a fight.
We picked up our coffee at the bar and found a table. I watched as he added cream and sugar with the care and precision of a barista crafting a perfect cappuccino. This was a man who cared about the details of life. I wonder...
"So are you homeless, or do you just like to bum smokes outside coffee shops?" What am I saying? I don't talk like that. I smiled, hoping he would get the lame attempt at humor.
I met his quiet eyes, deep-set in a lined and worn face. I realized he was analyzing me, and that was unsettling somehow. Then his mouth twitched in a grin, and he pointed to the office building across the street. "See the light up there on the fourth floor. Little studio apartment. I take care of the building, so I get to sleep there."
"Just no money for cigarettes, I guess." Apparently that bothered me.
"I work security midnights at the WG warehouse over on southside. Buys food, clothes like this, and medication. And one brandy on Saturday night."
"But no smokes?" I was intrigued.
He sighed a resigned sigh. "I don't tell anyone about the cigarettes. Unless they need to know. I guess you need to know."
"I'm sorry, that's how we met, I didn't mean to be nosy."
"No, I find when somebody asks, they need to know. It's simple, really. I bum smokes to remind myself that I need help from people. I didn't used to know that."
Now I regarded him quietly. There was unexpected depth here. He nodded over at the office building again. "I used to own that building. This one too. And the warehouse where I work."
"Used to?"
"Got it all through hard work and listening to my gut. Did it on my own, so I thought. Course, life taught me otherwise."
I nodded. "Life has a way of doing that."
"Now I'm down to basics. I don't have much, but I'm not taking handouts."
"Except for cigarettes."
"I ask total strangers to give me cigarettes. It's good for the ego. And I don't even smoke. I trade them for my weekly brandy down at Jack's on the corner.
"You don't even smoke?" I was still confused.
"A man who won't give you money will still share his smokes. And it does something to you when you ask for something without having anything to give in return. Keeps you humble, I guess."
I nodded, speechless in the face of his simple wisdom. He stood, and extended his hand. "Hey man, thanks for the coffee. I still have to get my cigarette."
He ambled out to his post, leaving me agitated. He helped me more than I helped him. I hate to owe anybody anything. Even worse, now I knew what to do about it.
Ten minutes later, I watched the plaid shirt cross the street, tucking a cigarette safely in his pocket. I pulled on my cap, and took his place in the shadows, hoping to remain anonymous.
Five long minutes later, three teenagers came walking by. I took a deep breath and asked, "Hey man, you got a smoke?"
The one in front smirked, "We're too young to smoke, Pops."
But the skinny kid in the back pulled out a pack and handed me one. "Here ya go, man. Need a light?" I nodded, and we leaned close with the lighter between us. "Good luck, man," he said as he followed his friends.
"Thank you, thanks a lot." I walked to my car, smoking my first cigarette in twenty years. I stopped, and looked up at the fourth floor window. I think he saluted.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sex at Church
Yeah, our fearless pastor talked about sex. The goal is of sex is not the act, but intimacy. Anything else is a cheap and unsatisfying substitute.
So I was sitting in church with Nickelback playing on my mental ipod. You can hear the longing for intimacy in Gotta Be Somebody.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Happy Birthday, Mom
76 years ago today, on November 17, 1932, Elizabeth was born to Emmanuel and Mary Wengerd, the fourth (I think) of eight children in this Amish family. I wonder what her first few birthday parties were like?
I don't know if it's side effects of her stroke, or just more time to think and to talk, but I'm hearing stories of her girlhood like never before.
Two of her siblings, Uncle Mel and Aunt Edna used to play in a band. A band! Amish teenagers in the early 1940's, playing guitar and ukelele (we think) in what I'm guessing was a folk/bluegrass band. This would be the aunt that I have known only as a roly-poly Amish lady with too many kids for me to remember all their names.
Her brother once took my Mom and her sister to Nashville to see the Grand Ol' Opry. She thinks Minnie Pearl sang. And I thought Mom never got off the farm.
Mom and her friends used to meet for a much frowned upon Bible study. The Amish church did not approve of such activities, but Dawdy turned a blind eye. Mom the rebel. As Dad would have said, "Whodathunkit?"
Happy Birthday, Mom, and lots of love.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
21 Ruminations
These are not things I worry or obsess about.
These are things I ruminate on.
(Thanks Scout.)
* Working 6 days a week.
* Not making any money 6 days a week.
* Keeping the gremlins out of two coffee shops.
* Selling three rental houses.
* Finding more time to write.
* Actually getting paid to write.
* Knowing that my house is twice as big as it needs to be.
* Helping my son get on a college/career track
* Not letting my daughter's dream of acting/modeling die.
* Getting my Mom out of the nursing home.
* Keeping my Mom happy in the nursing home.
* Selling Mom's house.
* Managing Mom's money.
* Growing my faith beyond mustard seed size.
* Regaining faith in Divine involvement in my life.
* Having time for friends.
* Getting to know the redhead that lives in my house.
* Watching all the movies that I really need to.
* Creating time to give back.
* Seeing the other 99% of the world.
* Mining the other 90% of my potential
Random thought: Cows are ruminants, right?
Friday, November 7, 2008
Subliminal Ooze*
I stops to think
And listen to
My brain cells clink
Why does it seem
I try too hard
Ideas die
In some graveyard
But if I catch
Myself off guard
I write a bit
Don’t try too hard
The thoughts leak out
From hidden place
Ooze out to fill
My writing space
Line up with care
Each precious drop
When it’s all gone
I know to stop.
*This is what happens when my subconcious springs a leak for six minutes.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Barfly vs. Banker
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Your House Got Soul?
Perfection is reached, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing more to take away. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
A sculptor in his sunlit studio contemplates a cold block of marble. Within that stone, he alone sees the beautiful shape wanting to emerge. So he strips away everything else to get to that image. Cutting, chipping, sanding, polishing till he’s down to perfection.
That’s my ideal when I write, to get down to the pure essence of the matter. I instinctively write short, saying the most I can with the fewest words. Too many words clutter the landscape and get in the way of the story.
Now I find the same principle at work as I look at home design. Where is my home bigger, more bloated than it needs to be? What’s the excess that’s getting in the way of the best use of my house? For that matter, what’s the primary purpose of my house?
Ah, now we’re talking. What do I want from my house? A shelter to live in? A mansion to impress my friends? Or an estate to maintain? Do I want a palace to rule from? A fortress with which to intimidate? Or a museum to fill with beautiful things? Do I just want a home for my family?
If I don’t know what I want, how will I know when I have it? If I get what I don’t want, I’m dissatisfied and so I want more. Maybe it’s not more I want, but different.
You can’t get enough of what you don’t really want. That’s the root of excess. Even better, it’s the key to simplicity. Know what you want, and why. When you have it, it will be enough. Strip away everything else and you may just discover the image of what was tucked away in your soul as happiness.
Sometimes contentment comes not from having more, but having less.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
No one can hear you scream
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
All the Colors
From this poet's dusty shelf:
Sings the artist to his painting
Words unheard and words unseen
Paints the singer on the canvas
All the colors never known
Writes the poet with his fingers
Dipped in blood from out his soul
Disappears the pained creator
There stands truth, and art is whole
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Moving Crew
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Quiet Praise
The musician tonight at the local hangout, let's call him John, just sang the most painfully beautiful worship song. It was more beautiful because I know more about John.
See a couple of years ago, when John sang a song like that, it was with a beaming smile. He was joyful, seemingly always. Praise radiated when he sang.
And then the trials came. Difficulties personal, spiritual, physical, mental. When I first saw him after a year, I did not recognize him. The joy, the life, was gone.
He's better now. The glow is coming back. It's quieter, the smile more reserved. He lets you in carefully. The joy simmers, not bubbles.
And tonight he sang. It was beautiful. And when he sang about singing, praising, dancing in the dark times, there was a depth, a vulnerability. In the midst of a noisy coffee shop, there was a holy hush. I forgot to breathe.
Sometimes worship is loud and celebrating. Tonight, worship spoke quietly. Reverently. Lovingly. Tonight there was praise on the other side of pain.
Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus...and live!
Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus...and live!
And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk sometimes we fall, so
Fall on Jesus...and live!
Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus...and live!
O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus...and live!
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus...and live!
Chris Rice / Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus)
(repetitions at...edited)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Caveman Rock Star
Well. Now imagine my excitement at watching men heave a rock. Not a baseball into a strike zone. Not a football at a sprinting, zigzagging target. Just pick up a rock. And throw it. As far as possible. Can a sport get more primitive than that?
But here's the deal. It's an oddly shaped 138 pound stone. When you lift it, if you can lift it, with arms extended straight overhead, you can not, if you want to survive, drop it.
If you do get the rock up there, you now run, or stagger a few yards to the foul line. An experienced thrower does a nifty little jig right at the line, allowing him to propel the rock from high overhead while his feet stop just short of the line.
Good throws range from 9' to 11' or so. Over 12' is rare. The all-time record is 14'6". It doesn't sound like much until you watch big beefy looking guys stagger under the weight. Style is useless, but technique helps.
This is Steintossen, Stone Throwing, at the Ohio Swiss Festival in Sugarcreek. It is a raw, simple, powerful, and visceral contest between a man and a rock. The men do okay, some of them. But I think the rock wins.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Gratitude Schmatitude
The genies left and took the electricity with them.
I want lights!
I want water!
I want it now, or I’m moving to Mexico.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Empowered Gracias
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Powerless?
As a man thinks, so he is. Whatever is good, think on it.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Be the Bait
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Chillin'
Friday, August 22, 2008
Babel gracias
Shush, I'm busy.
Aren't you thankful for ANYTHING this week?
S'pose so.
Like WHAT?
I'on't know
Humph! See if I bless YOU again.
Awright, awright, fine. Here's your list.
- DIO
Signora
Bambini
Casa
Vivanda
Chiesa
Amici
Risata
That wasn't Spanish.
No, Italiano. Gratitude is better in Italian.
You remember what happened at the Tower of Babel?
e9 8 43m3g34 2hq5 yq003n3e? or d97i4 j wi!
See. Don't mess with my languages.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Corona & Lime
Never mind the latest addition to my Groovin' list, this is definitely NOT the scene at the end of my afternoon on the patio of the local pub. Do I wish it was? Not tellin.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Jueves Gracias
Doggedly he turns his back on the circling horde bent on his destruction. He pulls from the inside of his ragged tunic a chunk of charcoal, and a roll of papyrus. He scratches earnestly:
I.
AM.
GRATEFUL.
For?
* More gloriously sunny days this summer than I can shake a stick at, whatever that means. I'll ask my Dad, next life.
* A pastor who realizes some of us might have given up on prayer. And he helps us understand...
* ...HIM. He wants to be friends. He wants to listen. He wants to talk.
* Six writer friends who pull me from despondency simply by sitting around being goofy and creative. And an ink-smudged salute to Annie, for being there, and being Annie.
* Us. The U.S. of A. We consider for our leader a strangely named black guy, an geezerly military jock, a screechy white woman and a Baptist rock & roll preacher. Are we cool or what?
* Coblentz chocolate covered pretzels. Makes 3pm almost fun.
* Lunar glory. It goes in circles reflecting light, and always manages to look amazing. And intriguing, like it's hiding something. Oh yeah, its back side.
* Gratitude. It turns your face to the sun.
His charcoal down to a pebble, he rolls the scroll and tucks it away. He turns to confront the horde, only to realize, the lot of them fled.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Core Problem
I have a confession to make. I throw apple cores out the truck window, into the ditch by the side of the road.
But I am emphatically not a "litterbug" as they used to say in the 60s. I am almost anal about not littering. You know the little paper wads you get when you take one Breathsaver out of the roll? I do not toss that on the sidewalk.
But somewhere along the line I decided that an apple core would decompose quickly, so it was okay to pitch. Not a banana peel - too big, too messy. Not fast food waste. But an apple core, sure. With a modicum of guilt. And not if anyone is watching. Hmmm.
Now, none of us is gonna dump a bag of rotten apples by the side of the road. But nobody will complain if I spit an apple seed out the window. One's definitely okay. The other is definitely out.
But where do you draw the line? Where falls the apple core?
Even more, there's "core" issues in my life that I never really decided where to draw the line, I just do what I do.
* When I download content, is it stealing, or is it just taking what's out there?
* When I pass along "news" about a friend, is it conversation, or is it gossip?
* When I overlook a wrong, am I choosing my battles, or avoiding confrontation?
That's just things I've run into this week. The extremes are black and white, the big space in the middle is shades of gray.
So I'm back to the question I asked myself about the apple core: What if everybody did it the way I do?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Call Me Cap'n Hook
One 20' board is what I did for church on Sunday.
Sunday was Community Service day at New Pointe Community Church. It was a day for us not to go to church, but to be the church. Instead of buzzing around the hive making honey, we swarmed the countryside spreading love.
We delivered more than 1500 boxes of food to local pantries. At the church we offered a health fair, free hair care, car servicing. In surrounding towns we cleaned up roadsides, painted buildings inside and out, did home repairs. Early reports had over 1000 people involved.
My contribution? One 20' board, carefully placed, securely screwed fast, neatly painted, ready for hooks to hold clothes and towels outside a row of showers at Sky View Ranch.
Now that does not include the hour I spent attempting to fasten vinyl cove base to glass board with glue that stuck like oil to water. And the time I spent as a helping hand to the most skilled and efficient contractor/carpenter I have ever seen, my friend Paul Marner. I even got some dirt in my nails cleaning up landscaping trash.
But in the end, I looked at a 20' board as my accomplishment. It's not much, until you realize there were 1000+ people just like me, doing their own version of a 20' board.
Which means in one Sunday morning the NPCC volunteers could put up a 4 mile long coat hook board. Pretty cool if you need room for 20,000 coats. Next Christmas 3000 of us could bring our six closest friends to church and have room for all our Harley Davidson leather, Lands End, LLBean, or thrift store rescues.
What's better is when you have a church that cares enough about the people around them to find out what they really need, and finding a way to fill the need.
That's the church being the church. One coat hook at a time.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The Natives are Restless
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Breakfast Bribery*
*or - How to crack your son's shell without getting egg on your face.
To my half-asleep son on a late morning -
"Hey Caleb, I'm making scrambled eggs with feta cheese, do you want some?" He loves feta cheese.
He rolls over, one eye half open. "Um sure, if you don't mind."
Does he know or care that my part of breakfast was already over? No.
Does he like that I sit and drink coffee and talk while he enjoys breakfast? Yes.
And that's the really cool part. We do get to talk. Cuz like many guys, my son has his Rambo times, when communication is in grunts.
But if you don't pigeonhole him, you can gently crack the shell and discover all the wonderful things inside. Like a feta cheesy sense of humor. I wonder where he got that.
A bribe is a charm to the one who gives it; wherever he turns, he succeeds. Proverbs 17:8
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Jueves Gracias
I'm grateful today for...
* Newcastle Brown, tall. If you don't know, you don't wanna.
* The musical genius that is Joas. And the Delta Legion, all (1) of him.
* Summer nights in July with loud music.
* Summer nights in July with a cicada serenade.
* Mudd Valley vanilla ice cream. With Ghirardellhi chocolate.
* A sister who listens without judgment.
* A daughter with the guts to start two new jobs within three days. Rys rocks.
* HIM. He makes sunsets. Really good ones.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Rebuttal
*This post is best enjoyed a day after reading the previous one.*
Some things go like clockwork. A good shot of espresso runs for 27 seconds, give or take 3. A well produced and coreographed show doesn't have 10 seconds of dead time. Basketball even has a shot clock to force the action.
Other things run at their own pace. Bad espresso goes from 5-45 seconds. The preschool Christmas play, well, kids will do what kids will do. Baseball is our national pastime because it passes a lot of time while batters scratch and pitchers spit.
And then there's the rodeo. You cannot cue a wildly bucking horse to exit the chute now instead of 30 seconds from now. A raging bull will not run the route you hoped. And therein lies the thrill of the rodeo. The unpredictable wildness.
And it's that brief untamed moment that keeps you sitting for hours on end. The knowing that you don't know what will happen. The chute may open and the bronco may decide he's quite happy trying to scrape the cowboy off his back without getting out in the ring. Or the bull, having successfully thrown the rider, may continue his rampage on the spot, trying to pulverize his victim. Then he'll take a few victory laps, ignoring wranglers attempts to direct him back to the corral. And of course, animals don't understand that the horn at 8 seconds means the rider won and the game is over. The animal stops when the animal wants to stop.
Does the same thing happen in other sports? Kinda. We watch cars going around in circles hundreds of times, when the real excitement is the crash. Football teams can grind out yards back and forth for half a game, but it's the 50 yard pass play or the 80 yard punt return that really gets us going. Baseball has its home runs, golf the hole-in-one. But trained athletes and engineered equipment will always be more predictable than untamed animals.
Which may make rodeo riders the bravest, or the craziest athletes out there. Suppose baseball allowed the pitcher to bean the hitter. Or football had no rules protecting the quarterback. And Nascar drivers could throw grenades in passing cars. Heh.
So would I have wanted to be in an artificially cooled theater experiencing a great summer blockbuster? Not on this night, when we sat in the sun without sweating, and long after the sunset without shivering. We were on rodeo time, with nothing to do for the night except enjoy the action, and the lulls between the action. And the sometimes groan-inducing jokes of the clown. And the little Amish boy roping a toddler girl. And the patriotism and prayers. And all the people who dressed their western best for the show.
This is the rodeo, and I tip my ten-gallon hat to Nelson the bull-rider, and all the cowboys who try for an 8 second ride and end up with a face full of dirt.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
YeeeeHaaaawwww!!!!
...so, um, we went to the rodeo last night. And after we were done at the rodeo, we were still at the rodeo. So... we stayed awhile longer, and then after a long time, they had intermission. After which, guess what? We were still at the rodeo. So after we were at the rodeo for awhile longer, we were still at the rodeo. And then..
***loud speakers blast rock music***
BULL RIDING!!!
Yep, three hours after we kicked off this shindig, we finally arrive at the big daddy event.
Cue bull.
Throw rider.
X6.
Game over.
Yeehaw.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Sushi communion
Sometimes it's the bumps in the road that add flavor to the journey.
It was the most gorgeous, sunny day you could imagine for us four to explore downtown Cleveland. We finally found the sushi place we had been planning on all day. And it was closed, for another hour.
How awful then that our family was doomed to a sundrenched sidewalk cafe drinking coffee, reading, and eating espresso brownies.
We endured, though, and eventually found our way to Sushi Rock. The graceful curves of the bars (sushi and booze) combined with the open stairway to the second level made the narrow space look spacious while feeling cozy.
Our utterly charming waiter seemed to assume we knew everything about sushi and still explained anything we appeared unsure of. He recommended favorites like eda mame and the beef sushi which wasn't exactly sushi. And he pointed out that the whole table's order is served on one big tray, of which I thought, big deal.
Until it arrived, four giant rolls on a giant plate, and we started eating. Now it's pretty common for the four of us to taste each other's food when we eat out. But this was different. We weren't four people focused on our own plates. We were a group, dining together off a giant plate in the center of the table. It was communal dining.
Each of us sampled everybody's food. We shared, commented, critiqued. And we enjoyed. Not just the food, the fellowship. The being together. And it was enhanced, I believe, by the hour at the cafe where we decompressed from 24 hours of gotta-be-somewhere-do-something togetherness.
Sushi communion. It was an exquisite climax to a rare family weekend.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Prom Magic
And so the magic begins. Two people adapt their skills to join on a task, until they’re stuck, and get help from a third, who replaces the first, who moves on to answer a question, and ends up taking over another task. Three people start on a phase, two more see opportunity, and replicate the actions on another phase. One little task is a serial effort. Guy and girl try, receive advice from a hubby, who steps in and helps, get assistance from a friend, who asks his wife for suggestions, who takes over the task, inviting more help from two others.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Jueves de Gracias
*French roast Sumatra from Java Jo. Shameless plug? Not if you taste the coffee.
*John Rambo. What? He kills the bad guys. Really dead.
*John 1:12. Now if I could just live like I believe that.
*Dana. She reminded me why I used to like rain storms. Still do, I guess.
Friday, June 20, 2008
soul at rest
and so the evening
rolls upon me
closing in and
settling slow
and sinking down
and resting soft and
wrapping warm a-
round my soul I
feel as though I
shouldn’t move I
can’t explain this
comfort to the
doubting mind for
its my heart that
sits and waits and
hesitates to stir too far
from where I am and
where I rest and
where I sit and
think the best
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Jueves de Gracias
Today I give thanks for...
* A gentleman boyfriend who picks up my daughter at the door. And dresses nicely.
* The resulting smile on her face. She's worth everything he can do. And more.
* HIM. I chose to give when I couldn't. He gave back more.
* Professionals who help you with banks and their paperwork. Mike's da man.
* Evenings on the patio. It's springtime.
* A friend who feels deeply about movies. And understands that I do.
* Time alone. It nurtures me.
* Mich Lite. Friday's coming.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Sez Who?
Is the play complete if every other scene is played out behind the curtain? Are you cheating the audience? What if they don't know? Is the play worse for the hidden scenes?
Or are there two plays, with two audiences? On each side of the curtain, a play, an audience, a cast. The central character goes back and forth, never in two places, but always fully present.
This is my life. There are people on either side of the stage, and too often I keep the curtain down, showing nobody the all action. Can I keep it honest if I split it in two? Am I being me, showing only half of me to each group?
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Statistical Anomaly
The analysis is always a hoot. Hillary gets the white women, the working class, the less educated, the poor. Obama gets the black vote, the educated, the urban voter.
And yet...
Some of us somebodys just don't fit the profile. Nobody told us we weren't welcome there, so we joined the party anyhow.
Like me. White. Working class? Eight years formal schooling. Guy. Obamaniac. Well not quite, but in the camp.
There's only so much you can do with statistics. Only so many useful ways you can group groups of people. And then you realize, each one is still one. In a category of one. And each one can vote. In the ballot box, with their dollars, with their time.
We are a nation of statistical anomalies.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
2nd Grade Crush
"You'll be 50 this year, won't you?"
Smiling eyes from a pretty face danced in amusement at my surprise. She was off by a year (49), and I'm usually guessed low 40s.
"We were in the same class at Park Elementary." My jaw must have dropped. She's talking grade school, and tonight we're parents transforming the high school for our kids' prom.
I chuckled. "Yeah, I was there for (I counted on my fingers) four months." Maybe she thought I was someone else.
She laughed. "Yeah I remember you. You lived out by Northport." I knew her face from around town, I just had no idea of her name. "I'm Debbie Allison*. Well, used to be Milton.
Dang. Cute as she was, I could make no mental connection. And she was enjoying it. Knowing me, while I didn't know her.
Being remembered rocks. Maybe I should look up Ginger. Make her smile.
*Names may or may not have been changed to confuse the inquisitive.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Butterfly's Gift
From the poet's dusty shelf...
Butterfly
I had a little butterfly I did
It flittered and it fluttered
In, around, about my head
Never rested never stopped
At my fingertips it danced
...Behind my eyes
...Inside my soul
Thought I caught it one fine day
Wrapped it up inside a box
Shiny paper, shiny ribbon
Gave it to my bestest friend
She unwrapped it, opened up
...It was plastic
...It was dead
Saw the butterfly the next day
Floating like the rainbow sun
Held my hand out let it flutter
Over under and around
Never grasping merely waiting
...Flash of color
...Blink-it’s gone
Now this butterfly it has me
Or I have it-either way
Though I see it no one else does
Only to my eyes it shows
All its colors, all my colors
...In my eyes
...Through my soul
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Jueves de Gracias
Things that make my life better:
* Skinny black arms that retrieve keys from impossible places. And the gentle souls to which they're attached.
* Smiling cousins who sit with you for refuge. And warm their cold hands on your neck.
* Magnums of wine.
* El Sol. Sun. Sunlight. Sunshine. Sunbeam.
* People who buy houses. And the banks who help them.
* J/O, who refuses to let you settle.
* My truck. It works, it plays. Smile.
* Red. The color. It warms my heart.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Dream a Little Dream
What makes you think you can change the direction of your life? Who do you think you are anyway?
Well, J/O is at it again. There's a theme, of course.
Ask for something impossible.
Have an overflow mentality.
Unlock the gift within.
The underlying theme is an unshakeable conviction is the untapped, immeasurable potential for greatness in every person. There is an inherent, unique potential for being amazing, for doing the impossible. Dignus Res, was the old scholar's joke. The fire within.
And then, the faith of God. Not in. Of. It's like He has faith for me.
So if He put a dream in me, He still has faith that I can make the dream happen.
How do I know when that's happening? When I have a faith, but I don't know where it came from. When something in me tells me I can do something, even though my brain knows better.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Your Life. Re-imagined
Where's the line between imagination and reality? Heh! Wherever I wanna put it.
If it's true that anything we do or have, we imagined first, then imagination is Act I of reality's show.
So then. You find yourself in the middle of Act II, and you think you see where the story is going. You know the good guy, the bad guy, and the girl. And you realize, the good guy is boring, and you're rooting for the bad guy. Even worse, the girl's best friend, the one that's just there to help the girl get the guy is way more fun than anyone. Follow me so far?
Now what?
Halfway through the Italian Job, Wahlberg & Co. had all their carefully laid plans yanked sideways faster than a Mini changes lanes. What saved them? Imagination. They took what they had, where they were, and re-imagined it. The result was pure genius.
And what sunk the bad guy? Yeah, no imagination. Oh he tried. But he couldn't think beyond what had already been done. He couldn't even come up with a way to spend the money. Just stole others' ideas.
So back to our story. We have a bad guy we like. And a funky, fun chick. Let's write our own story. Act II ends with a whiplash twist. Act III has you on the edge of your seat.
The ending? One thing at a time, bucky. We don't even know what happens in Act IV.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Impedimenta Liberata
"I've also learned that paring down possessions means a lot more room in your life as well as in your house." Donna Freedman
Post-acquisitive, I like to call it. Having grown past the stage in my life of needing, wanting, to get more just to have more. Because there are many possessions that tend to turn the tables on you.
First you have the stuff. Then the stuff has you.
Like me and my house. Well, our house, I should say. Her house, really. When CSW fell in love with this property, it set us on a course of having more than we need, more than we can afford, and more than I want.
And we don't have it. It has me. All my money goes to pay for and maintain it. All my time goes to earn the money, or maintain the property. Mowing the grass, doing home fixup things isn't bad. I just don't like when it takes over my life. My summer outdoor activity is mowing, trimming, raking, etc. Not by choice. By coercion.
By stark contrast, I get a thrill out of eliminating the unnecessary in my life. Something I don't use, when I can give, sell, or throw it away, is as much fun as buying something new.
It makes room in my life, and in my house. Room in my life for what I want to be.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
They say...
Jose is back. The guy I used to hang out with, he's back. So they say. I haven't seen him, But everybody swears it's really him. Who's Jose? You had to ask, didn't you? Ok.
See, first I met him at a party. Cool and all, Jose always had a crowd around him, seems like. Great story teller. So I listened.
At first it just seemed like the typical self-help kinda stuff. You know, think good thoughts, have a good attitude. Plus a little bit of community spirit, like help your neighbor, feed the hungry. Jose even led an outdoor soup kitchen once.
Then it got more ethereal. What you give out comes back to you. You are what you think. Hmm, I think I'm a dark chocolate chunk.
But he kinda lost me when he tried to get political. No, he didn't run for office. He just started talking trash about corruption in the system, political, religious, social. You get a lot of enemies that way in a hurry.
The last straw though, was when Jose seemed to get a Messiah complex. I mean, you could interpret it different ways, but it sounded like he was comparing himself to God. Almost like he thought he was divine. Hmm.
Yeah, that pretty well did it. The corrupt religious right got together with crooked politicians, and accused him of working against the government. In my middle east country, that gets you executed. Quickly.
Well, it was good while it lasted. I thought. Guy took himself way too seriously.
Except.
They said he's back. Wait-- wasn't Jose dead?
Oh yeah, and it wasn't Jose, it was his son.
Jesus
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Jueves de Gracias
Today, I am grateful for...
* The unmatched gloriousness of a woman's voice in song. Billie. Isabel. Christina.
* High School choir teachers. Work the miracle on some days. Watch the miracle on others.
* The community audience. At little league games. High school musicals. Church plays. The event is special because you're there. And you're there because the kids are special. And the kids are special because of who you are.
* Friends who brag on you as if you'd already achieved. A tip o' the hat, to Marlin.
* Men who care about men who care about women. It's more than a game. It's love. You help us find it.
* Maple Pecan Crunch. 7a or 11p, it's great.
* Chocolate Hardcore. Sweet. Hot. Dark. Smooth. Sexy. If hot chocolate were Budweiser, this would be Jim Beam.
* Music in my soul. Moves my body, when I let it. Lifts my spirit. It's like letting my soul breathe.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Jump on, have fun
The wise young lad stood resolutely in the middle of the playground, ignoring the hubbub around him.
"Whatcha doin?" yelled a girl as she raced past him.
"Plotting my course to the top of the jungle gym." Thoughtfully he studied his target.
"Why not jump on and play?" I hollered as I raced after the girl.
For the next ten minutes we managed to use every bar, pole, swing, rope and gadget on that structure. We each fell at least once. I pulled her hair to slow her down. She punched my arm and made me fall. But we made it to the top, together. Stood up there balancing on the two main support posts twelve feet off the ground.
We held hands and yelled, "We're the king of the mountain!"
You don't plot a course to the top of the monkey bars. You jump on, have fun, and climb. Most likely, you'll get to the top.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Jueves de Gracias
In no particular order, gracias por...
* The vicarious thrill of helping a friend shop for a Mini Cooper.
* My daughter’s hugs. They’re life-giving.
* Red’s red head. Will we ever see eye-to-eye?
* Holly’s igloo. When it snows, girl will be girl.
* Hand-me-downs. Ah, the joys of having your son outgrow you.
* Cavuto on Fox. For 5 minutes, he looked at the sane majority.
* Bifocals. Heh. I’m fortytegih. It’s good to see.
* Spiritual fog lights. Otherwise the road would disappear.