Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Backyard Fantasy World


A magical world. Another place. Cliches, it's true, but true they are.

My snow-covered backyard in the light of the full moon. Is it eerie? Not really. It is cold, but not so much. But this other-worldy blue light that oozes everywhere is hypnotic. I can stand in the midnight shadow of the Sideways Tree (yes in the shadow, at midnight) and I'm not myself. It's not my backyard. I can be where I want to. More important, I can be who I want to. Anything is possible. Why?

Can I carry within myself an atmosphere, an aura all my own that puts me in a reality where I can be whatever I want? Well, why not?

I didn't think of the moon as blue, just the air. And not blue like sad. Not blue like cold. Just blue like - um - ice? neon?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Am I Blue?


Depression can be cured by lifestyle change? Wow, who knew? Well, me and probably half the people with "depression."

Seems 'they' have discovered that maybe 35% of sufferers are cured by medication. Not cured actually, but short-term relieved. Maybe 25% are equally well treated by placebos. Hmm.

Maybe being doggedly unhappy about your life situation, the refusal to pretend it's okay, and an unwillingness to settle isn't depression. Maybe it's optimism. Conviction that this is not as good as it gets. Faith that I will acheive some measure of happiness as I find the right place in my life.

Being sad is not depression. Being sad may just be a prelude to happiness.