UP a Snowy Mitten

"Okay, you see the hand?" We're looking at Michigan.

"Like a mitten, the thumb and the hand."

"That's it. We're driving all the way through that and out the top end."

"What happens when you fall out the top of the mitten?"

"I think you land in Arctica or Iceland or something. They call it the U-P which really just means, well, up."

"So you're going up to UP."

"No we're going further. You see the little pointy thing at the top of UP? That's the North Pole, I'm pretty sure. That's where we're going."

"To the North Pole? But it doesn't point straight up. It's all sideways leany."

"Course not, cuz of the wind. And Santa Claus. You wouldn't stand up straight either if he landed on you once a year."

"The North Pole in January. Why not December?"

"Well the locals don't call it the North Pole. They call it Houghton, Michigan."

"But Houghton in January? Again, why?"

"Little sister's getting married. And not to Santa Claus. Or an elf. And I get to wear a tux."

"Well, la-de-da. You know what I think the pointy thing is? I think it's the pinkie finger sticking out when they tip a bottle of beer."

"Now you're just being silly."

"I'm not the one driving through a mitten and going up to UP."