Wednesday, December 17, 2008

17 Syllable Japanese Sneeze

http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/
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Haiku contest there
One entry per person please
Here's what else I wrote.

On Christmas:

Found the perfect gift
When the babe in the manger
Found room in my heart.

Christmas lights and trees
Gifts and carols and candy
Point the way to - peace?

Silent, holy night
Is what I got for Christmas
At the manger bed.

On writing:

Talent trapped inside
Rusts the soul, so why can't I
Open up the tap?

Pent up words rusting
In my soul where I can't reach
With my fountain pen.

Go check it out, add your own. Yes, you.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Christmas Tale in Four Acts


A fictional conversation with John Bunn, based on his recent postulation that not just the Christmas story, but the story arc of Scripture, can be captured in four words.


sez Mark: So John, what’s Act I of your play?

John Bunn: OF.

sM: Of what?

JB: OF. Adam and Eve were created in the image OF God.

sM: Beats the proverbial silver spoon, doesn’t it? And what is Act II?

JB: That’s right, how did you guess?

SM: Huh?

JB: Act II is AND. Adam and Eve went down their own path. So now there’s separation, Man AND God.

sM: So what do you start Act III with?

JB: WITH.

sM: Yes, with?

JB: Yes, WITH. Act III is WITH. That’s the Christmas part. His name is Emmanuel, God WITH us.

sM: Then it ends in Act IV?

JB: You’re right, IN.

sM: I am?

JB: Act IV is IN. If you ask, the Spirit will live IN you.

sM: Is that like the ghost of Christmas past? Or like the Force?

JB: Were you listening on Sunday?

sM: It was early service, give me a break.


Of, and, with, in. I love a short story. Especially with a good ending.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Suede Booties


"The world is a strange place right now. It's off its axis," a salesman from a Fifth Avenue retailer is quoted in the New York Times. Why? Travesties such as: Barney's of New York has suede booties marked down from $1195 to $720.

Suede booties for only $720? This is the stuff of economic crisis? Well.

I will confess to being a frugal shopper. I'm less interested in "Can I afford it?" and more interested in "Can I live without it?" So how would I spend $720 on clothes? Heh.

Let's see, my tailor is the Harvest Thrift store, my couturier Steve & Barry's, my haberdasher is WalMart, Gabes is my cobbler, and my hatter is the lost and found box at Java Jo's. Yes, $720 will last awhile. How long?

A brief survey of my closets told me thus: The "world off its axis" price of those suede booties will keep me in dress shirts and pants, T-shirts and jeans, sweaters and hoodies, jackets and coats, hats and scarves, shoes and boots for a year. Twice. At least.

Can you wisely spend more money on better quality? Of course. My job doesn't require a pricey wardrobe, and our social life is casual. I dress better for a job interview than I do for church. But I'm not a slob. My favorite fashionista told me I look like a "city sleeker." I think it was a compliment.

So is the world off its axis? Maybe the one that's spinning on a fragile, mortgaged spire atop a house of (credit) cards. The real world, where you earn money, then spend it on things you really need, or dearly love, that world may just be regaining its balance.

Oh, and Naomi, you can stop drooling now :-)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Who's on Bass?

(A mostly true story)


The scene is a coffee shop throbbing with music. Two brothers and two friends jamming for two hours. It's standing room only at Java Jo, one of those rare performances you wish could last forever. But who are the players?

"So which ones are the two brothers?" Ed leans close to be heard over the music.

"Joas and Joel," I nod toward the band in the corner.

"Joel is the drummer?"

"No the other Joel. Yes, the drummer’s name is Joel, but the other Joel is the brother. He’s the one with the hat."

"Oh the one on the harmonica?"

"No, the other one with a hat. The one playing guitar."

"But not the one sitting down?"

"No, the one sitting down with the guitar is Joas. Oh wait, now Joel is sitting down, too."

"So Joas is the one wearing a vest?"

"Yes, no, the guy on the harmonica’s wearing a vest."

"What’s his name?"

"I don’t know. Just some guy that came with Joas. But Joas is wearing a vest too."

"So the brothers are the two guys with vests?"

"No the brothers are Joas and Joel. Joas is the one with a vest playing guitar."

"The vest plays guitar?"

"No, Joas plays guitar, wearing a vest."

"The guitar wears a vest?"

"See the guy sitting in a chair, playing a guitar?"

"The one with a vest?"

"The guy with a vest. That guy is playing a guitar. His name is Joas."

"The guy, or the guitar, or the vest?"

"The guy’s name is Joas."

"And his brother’s name is Joel?"

"His brother is the one wearing a hat and playing guitar."

"But not sitting down."

"Not right now."

"And the other Joel is the one with a beard?"

"The Joel with a beard is the guy on the drums. The other guy with a beard is Joas"

"The guy with a vest sitting and playing guitar?"

"Yes. The other guy with a vest is a friend."

"The one on harmonica?" The guy with a hat?"

"The other guy with a hat. Not Joel on the guitar, but the one with a hat playing harmonica. He’s the friend."

"And it’s not the hat playing the harmonica?"

"Might be."


The Cast:

Joas has a beard, wears a vest, sits and plays guitar amazingly. And sings. His brother…

...Joel has only stubble, wears a hat, stands (sometimes) and plays guitar similarly. And sings, maybe better.

Joel the drummer (actually the entire rhythm section since there's no bass), has a beard. No vest, no hat.

Friend (Chris?) wears a hat, and a vest, and plays harmonica marvelously.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Tale of Two Cigarettes

(From the storyteller's pen)


"Got a smoke, man?" A gravelly voice came out of the shadows. On this block, it neither startled nor scared me.

"Sorry, I don't smoke. Get you a cup of coffee?" Now that startled me, coming out of my mouth. I had three minutes to get back on the road or I'd be late. I hate being late.

"Sure whatever. Can I come along in to get it? Kinda chilly here." I looked at his frayed flannel shirt and tattered baseball cap. Compared to my leather coat and ski cap, it seemed frigid.

"Come on, we'll sit inside for a while." What am I saying? I don't have time to hang out with friends, much less strangers. And this man moved like he could handle himself in a fight.

We picked up our coffee at the bar and found a table. I watched as he added cream and sugar with the care and precision of a barista crafting a perfect cappuccino. This was a man who cared about the details of life. I wonder...

"So are you homeless, or do you just like to bum smokes outside coffee shops?" What am I saying? I don't talk like that. I smiled, hoping he would get the lame attempt at humor.

I met his quiet eyes, deep-set in a lined and worn face. I realized he was analyzing me, and that was unsettling somehow. Then his mouth twitched in a grin, and he pointed to the office building across the street. "See the light up there on the fourth floor. Little studio apartment. I take care of the building, so I get to sleep there."

"Just no money for cigarettes, I guess." Apparently that bothered me.

"I work security midnights at the WG warehouse over on southside. Buys food, clothes like this, and medication. And one brandy on Saturday night."

"But no smokes?" I was intrigued.

He sighed a resigned sigh. "I don't tell anyone about the cigarettes. Unless they need to know. I guess you need to know."

"I'm sorry, that's how we met, I didn't mean to be nosy."

"No, I find when somebody asks, they need to know. It's simple, really. I bum smokes to remind myself that I need help from people. I didn't used to know that."

Now I regarded him quietly. There was unexpected depth here. He nodded over at the office building again. "I used to own that building. This one too. And the warehouse where I work."

"Used to?"

"Got it all through hard work and listening to my gut. Did it on my own, so I thought. Course, life taught me otherwise."

I nodded. "Life has a way of doing that."

"Now I'm down to basics. I don't have much, but I'm not taking handouts."

"Except for cigarettes."

"I ask total strangers to give me cigarettes. It's good for the ego. And I don't even smoke. I trade them for my weekly brandy down at Jack's on the corner.

"You don't even smoke?" I was still confused.

"A man who won't give you money will still share his smokes. And it does something to you when you ask for something without having anything to give in return. Keeps you humble, I guess."

I nodded, speechless in the face of his simple wisdom. He stood, and extended his hand. "Hey man, thanks for the coffee. I still have to get my cigarette."

He ambled out to his post, leaving me agitated. He helped me more than I helped him. I hate to owe anybody anything. Even worse, now I knew what to do about it.

Ten minutes later, I watched the plaid shirt cross the street, tucking a cigarette safely in his pocket. I pulled on my cap, and took his place in the shadows, hoping to remain anonymous.

Five long minutes later, three teenagers came walking by. I took a deep breath and asked, "Hey man, you got a smoke?"

The one in front smirked, "We're too young to smoke, Pops."

But the skinny kid in the back pulled out a pack and handed me one. "Here ya go, man. Need a light?" I nodded, and we leaned close with the lighter between us. "Good luck, man," he said as he followed his friends.

"Thank you, thanks a lot." I walked to my car, smoking my first cigarette in twenty years. I stopped, and looked up at the fourth floor window. I think he saluted.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sex at Church

So if God created sex, why don't we ask Him how it's supposed to work?

Yeah, our fearless pastor talked about sex. The goal is of sex is not the act, but intimacy. Anything else is a cheap and unsatisfying substitute.

So I was sitting in church with Nickelback playing on my mental ipod. You can hear the longing for intimacy in Gotta Be Somebody.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Happy Birthday, Mom


76 years ago today, on November 17, 1932, Elizabeth was born to Emmanuel and Mary Wengerd, the fourth (I think) of eight children in this Amish family. I wonder what her first few birthday parties were like?

I don't know if it's side effects of her stroke, or just more time to think and to talk, but I'm hearing stories of her girlhood like never before.

Two of her siblings, Uncle Mel and Aunt Edna used to play in a band. A band! Amish teenagers in the early 1940's, playing guitar and ukelele (we think) in what I'm guessing was a folk/bluegrass band. This would be the aunt that I have known only as a roly-poly Amish lady with too many kids for me to remember all their names.

Her brother once took my Mom and her sister to Nashville to see the Grand Ol' Opry. She thinks Minnie Pearl sang. And I thought Mom never got off the farm.

Mom and her friends used to meet for a much frowned upon Bible study. The Amish church did not approve of such activities, but Dawdy turned a blind eye. Mom the rebel. As Dad would have said, "Whodathunkit?"

Happy Birthday, Mom, and lots of love.